What the doctor said this morning...

I seriously don't know where the time goes. (It freaks me out a little since there is such precious little time left.) So I am finally posting what we discussed with the doctor this morning, although I have already told many of you in person already. But for those who haven't heard yet...


The doctor and the pharmacist had a pow-wow about how long to wait to be sure that the oxycontin has completely left his system. It's a long-acting drug and it's difficult to know for sure since we haven't a clue how much he took. (He has been getting a reversal drug this whole time that hasn't done much at all.) But it seems that it might be safe to do an official bedside physician exam tomorrow to determine whether or not Cameron is truly brain-dead. They will give him a good portion of two reveral drugs shortly before the exam, just in case. The doctors have told us over and over a bedside exam is more accurate and telling than any scan. If/when he fails that neuro exam, a second physician will perform a second test a few hours later, just to be sure. When he fails that exam, they will prounounce him brain-dead. If they feel they detect any neurological activity at all during either test, then they will go ahead and scan him to determine the extent of damage.


But I am telling you there won't be any neuro activity to find. He doesn't make any spontaeous breaths at all. None. The machine does it all. His eyes are still fixed and dilated. He still has no gag. He doesn't blink if you stick cotton in his eye. But nevermind the medical stuff. As a mother, the light in his eyes was missing when I found him yesterday morning. It's been a tough image to shake.



Wow. I can't believe that was only yesterday.



We have made the decision to donate Cameron's corneas, bones, and tissues (and whatever internal organs they feel are salvagable.) We strongly feel Cameron would say, "well I'm not using them." Such a good heart, such a sweet boy. Anyway, the point is Intermountain Donor Services will need a couple of days to do what they do. So as best as I can predict, we are looking at the funeral to be Monday or Tuesday, but we still haven't picked the mortuary so that is tentative. Mike really really wants Darin Parker to be involved. If anyone knows how to contact him, please e-mail us. scrapyourheart@gmail.com

So, once again, his blood-pressure and other "numbers" are improving somewhat and some actually look pretty good. But it's a fascade. His brain is severely damaged, so the rest doesn't matter in the long term. But I am grateful to have just a little more time with him than I normally would have under the circumstances. It's extremely painful knowing the final good-bye is coming, but the extra time is a blessing at the same time. So bittersweet. But I hope it will make closure easier in the end.

Finally, I want to say that if anyone has the desire to visit with Cameron for a few minutes, please don't hesitate or think you are a bother. It has been a blessing to be surrounded by loved ones and friends. But please don't wait. His time left on Earth is short.