It's been 1 week since Cameron's funeral. I still catch myself expecting Cam to be here. I brought home some drums I bought at my store to work on at home. As soon as I walked in the house, I just about called for Cam to come help me unload them. We had family time tonight like we try to do on Mondays. Everyone was around the table to start, but it felt empty. Not like just one person was missing, but like 2 or 3 were missing. Kristie and I just said "Can't believe how much room that boy took up." Not only in space, but in energy and sound. We cook half as much food for dinner, there are leftovers in the fridge that would have never survived with Cam, and there is food in the pantry and drinks that haven't been touched.
Things around the house are very, very quiet. Some of it can be chalked up to our mood, we've been quite somber. Right now it's hard to be jovial or even light hearted. The real truth is that I keep seeing Cameron on his bed, blue and barely breathing. It makes my heart ache that he had to go through that. I know he never felt anything, but still I cry that he didn't deserve to go through hours of slowly losing the fight to live.
I thought I would be obsessed with who and where the pill came from. I don't think about that very much, though. I wonder and am really saddened at the possibility that someone gave it to him (for money or not) and that the somebody knows what happened. How could you live with that? Well, Cameron made his own choice to take it and the consequences were the worst possible. I just hope someone has taken the lesson of this to heart, even after the shock has worn off.
My life will never be the same. There will be times when I will wonder what Cam would be doing if he were still here. There will also be times when I just cry that he is gone. But life is going on...
I miss you, Bug.
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Cameron's Story: The Boy We Love
About This Blog
This started as a family blog, but we were never very good at keeping it updated. We did find it invaluable during the acute phase of our crisis to keep our family and friends informed. Months and months have passed and people still call asking for the blog address because they know someone who needs to read it.
People with drug issues are often normal, everyday people. Cameron was handsome, intelligent, compassionate and witty beyond compare. We miss him terribly. We dedicate this site to anyone attracted to drugs. Cameron was not an addict, yet. Drugs are not a game. Your choices dearly affect people close to you.
To begin, refer to the Blog Archive, April 201o, "A Terrible Day."
People with drug issues are often normal, everyday people. Cameron was handsome, intelligent, compassionate and witty beyond compare. We miss him terribly. We dedicate this site to anyone attracted to drugs. Cameron was not an addict, yet. Drugs are not a game. Your choices dearly affect people close to you.
To begin, refer to the Blog Archive, April 201o, "A Terrible Day."
Cameron
8 comments:
So happy you posted have been waiting to hear how things are, I know I check your blog everyday so sorry I guess I am a blog stalker. I feel so badly I did not make the funeral I had every intention but my baby was sick. I want you all to know I think of you ALL the time and your family is always in my prayers.
I guess I too, am a blog stalker. I've worried for you guys and often check the blog. I'm still so sorry for your loss. Beth
It still just doesnt seem real. I moved all my furniture and still expect that when the doorbell rings I will open it to be mowed over by him taking off his shoes. I stopped by the cemetary with Page and it breaks my heart.
Hello Mike and Kristie, I have some funny stories regarding Cam. We went on a three day camp out in Idaho last year and there were wave runners there to use. I believe cam lived on the wave runners he enjoyed himself to the max with good clean fun. Cam was a very sensitive young man he never set out to hurt anyones feelings. He loved his family and spoke often of you. I sometimes see a young man on a skateboard or walking and for an short moment I think its Cam and then I'm reminded that he has passed to the other side. I don't think I will ever be the same as a scout leader since we have lost Cam. I think when I'm called again to work with the youth I will savor my relationships and show greater love and understanding.
You don't know me... and I don't normally leave comments for people I've never met. But, my son came home from Fort Herriman Middle last week and had learned about Cameron's story in his Health class. I just want your family to know that Cameron's life is a blessing to MANY others. Your openness and honesty in the manner that he died will save others from suffering the same pain. My son read through some of your blog entries and turned me and said..."I am NEVER going to do any kind of drugs, Mom." His comments and your blog have just brought me to tears. I am so sorry for your pain and suffering. I hope you will feel comfort from our Savior through this trial. My prayers are with you. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you so much for being so open with your feelings and sharing your blog with all of us! I love you guys and I want you all to know we remember you and are praying for you every day, especially today being Cam's birthday. Take care. We love you and hurt with you but trust in a better day to come. Janet
I want to thank you also for being so open and sharing your experience and family with us as well. You have my condolences and prayers. I even though i do not know you we are all god's children and brother's and sister's!
and for that i love you all.
Mike and Kristie, It's David and Laura Frandsen. We are so very sorry about your lost of Cameron. If we could, we are in need of your address. Please email us at lsssfamily@gmail.com. Thank you.
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